Finding Dory?!? Let’s Find YOU!

Finding Dory? Let’s Find You!

The inner power that comes from helping others is extremely strong. It can give your life meaning and purpose, and channel your energy in a positive direction. After all, many of us, including me, have made a whole career out of helping other people.

It feels incredible to be helpful, but I’ve found that I can easily deplete myself until I have nothing left to give during times I’ve allowed everyone else’s agenda to take priority over my own. As a result, I begin to resent the very people I felt called to help, not because they are doing anything to hurt me. I am the one hurting myself. If I want to help anyone, my action must come from the overflow of everything I do to care for myself. So, I had to ask myself this question: How can I best care for others and still care for myself?

This applies not only to my work but to my personal life as well. And at some point, we have to draw the line between others and us. What makes it even harder is when we realise that people don’t even need our help. That can be a real bruise to the ego. But what soothes that hurt is when we make a conscious decision to cater to our needs first and then, ask people if they need us to help them in any way, instead of assuming that we are somehow obligated to help people in every given situation.

Getting To The Bottom Of This

We’re all susceptible to the “do more and be more” message. After all, we’re bombarded with these messages every day on television, in books and advertising we’re surrounded by. We feel guilty when we take a day off or we choose to do something for ourselves and that’s what we need to let go of. I personally embraced the word “no” even though it was a thoroughly charged word for me and here’s why YOU should too:

More is better, right? Well, not always. Just enjoy enough. For instance, on days when you’re sick or tired, grant your body the gift of listening and take the day to rest and recharge.

You love your friends. But sometimes, say no to the party and yes to the couch. You don’t need an excuse to spend time with yourself so put on your favourite pair of pyjamas and watch a movie in bed.

I love green smoothies and yoga and healthy choices. But there’s no substitute for a bar of ice cream on a hot summer day. Saying no to your idea of clean eating for one day or meal will not derail your healthy eating. Instead, it will make your soul more balanced. I’m an advocate now of the 80/20 rule here – healthy choices 80% of the time and I no longer beat myself up if I chose to have a treat every now and then. However, I do make sure that the extra calories I am choosing to consume are well worth the indulgence!

Saying Goodbye To Old, Unhealthy Patterns

It’s not easy to get past old patterns. After all, there’s a reason they’re called “old” patterns. They’ve had a grip on us for so long. But now that we’ve realised that they just don’t serve the purpose even though it’s what’s familiar and comfortable, it’s time to let them go. And the best way to do that is to hold yourself accountable every day. By that, I don’t mean take a stick and beat yourself up over it. Instead, remember how damaging your old patterns have been. And how liberating the new patterns are starting to be, whether it’s setting up a new business, exercising every day or eating healthy, the list goes on. Start with taking small steps in the direction you want to go and slowly but surely, the path will clear on its own.

4 Great Strategies For Self-Care

I understand that it’s easier said than done. Old patterns take time to change. After all, we are conditioned to handle particular situations a certain way. So, the next time you’re in doubt whether to lean in and help someone out or stay back and attend to your own needs first, try and keep in mind these four strategies for self-care. These should help you steer yourself in the right direction.

Step Back – Get clear on what’s your “stuff” and what’s theirs.

Start With You – Focusing on how everything is an opportunity for my own growth. I am turning my “fix them” into “fix me first”.

Listen – 95% of the time, the best thing you can do for another person is to listen and be compassionate – so often that is all that is required as you CANNOT fix another person.

Use Your Tools – Journal/ Meditate/ Walk Daily – Do something that helps you stay in your own energy field. Everyday.

Need One-On-One Help!

If you’d like more practical tools specific to your needs, I run a workshop event, both online and in person, where we really dig in deep to uncover your key “Identity Statements” and then we create some fun creative things that you can use or wear to integrate these identity statements into your being. It really is a great and fun space to share. If you would like to find out when I’m leading the next workshop – email me at AskMe@FionaJeanne.life with the subject title: My Identity Workshop!